Lesson from the turtle.

In seminary I was impressed with the way Jesus used unusual means to make powerful points—for instance, riding into Jerusalem on a donkey.

I tried taking my cue from Jesus in my first church after seminary. I figured communication would be enhanced by working with live animals.

Like a turtle. A turtle makes progress only if it dares stick out its neck. That's a pretty good posture for Jesus' disciples, too, I thought.

So, my first week there, I asked the kids to find me a turtle. That week, some girls found a turtle and brought it to church, and an elderly couple, while taking a drive in the country, had to slam on the brakes as a turtle ambled across the road.
Eureka! I had two turtles!

The next Sunday I stood before the congregation, trying to exude proper Princeton decorum. In my black Geneva gown accented by red piping, I called the small fries forward and began my talk.

As I held up one turtle, I tapped on its shell. He ducked into it, obviously not going anywhere. "That's like a person acting as if Jesus weren't walking beside him," I observed.

The turtle, meanwhile, got a bad case of nerves and in front of the whole congregation, urinated all over my new robe.

The congregation howled. I acted as though I were not drenched and quickly returned the turtle to his box, commenting that strange faces do funny things to shy turtles.

Picking up the second turtle, I started again. I tapped on the shell, this time holding it well away from my robe. The turtle ducked inside and... held its composure. Relieved, I asked, "What happens to a turtle that refuses to stick out its neck?"

A tyke shot up his hand, exclaiming, "It goes tinkle-tinkle!"

That brought the house down again. I thought my ministry had been destroyed in its second week. But the nervous turtle made people see that their new preacher was all too human. And they accepted me, stains and all—though they did tend to shy away from my new robe.

Jack R. Van Ens
1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories: For Preachers, Teachers, and Writers.

What is God like?

As I begin I feel a little bit like the late Art Linkletter, who saw a little boy drawing a picture and asked, "What are you doing?"

The boy replied, "I'm drawing a picture of God."

Mr. Linkletter said, "Well, I thought that no one knew what God looked like."

The boy looked up confidently and said, "They will when I get through."

http://www.wordsearchbible.com/catalog/sample.php?prodid=2172

Does it matter how we feel?

The virtue of slogans is brevity. Their vice is ambiguity. So they are risky ways of communicating. They are powerful and perilous. So we should exploit the power and explain the peril. I would like to venture a corrective explanation to the slogan "Fact! Faith! Feeling!"

It's an old and common evangelical slogan. F. B. Meyer, A. T. Pearson, and L. E. Maxwell all preached sermons by this title. Today a Campus Crusade booklet uses it powerfully. The point of the slogan is the order. First, the facts about Christ. Second, the response of faith. Third, the feelings that may or may not follow.

So what's the ambiguity? There are two: Changed "feelings" may be essential to true Christian conversion, not incidental; and "faith" may not be completely distinct from feeling.

In one well-known booklet the slogan appears as a train: The locomotive is "fact." The coal car is "faith." The caboose is "feeling." The explanation reads: "The train will run with or without the caboose. However, it would be futile to attempt to pull the train by the caboose." But what are the "feelings" the train of Christian living can run without? Do "feelings" refer merely to physical experiences like sweaty palms, knocking knees, racing heart, trembling lips, tearful eyes? If so, the slogan is clear and accurate.

But most people don't think of feelings that way. Feelings include things like gratitude, hope, joy, contentment, peacefulness, desire, compassion, fear, hate, anger, grief. None of these is merely physical. Angels, demons, and departed saints without bodies can have these "feelings."

I think that apart from the Bible, Jonathan Edwards has written the most important book on feelings in the Christian life. It's called The Religious Affections. The definition of these "affections" (or what most people today mean by feelings) is: "the more vigorous and sensible exercises of the inclination and will of the soul." In other words, the feelings that really matter are not mere physical sensations. They are the stirring up of the soul with some perceived treasure or threat.

There is a connection between the feelings of the soul and the sensations of the body. This is owing, Edwards says, to "the laws of union which the Creator has fixed between the soul and the body. " In other words, heartfelt gratitude can make you cry. Fear of God can make you tremble. The crying and the trembling are in themselves spiritually insignificant. The train can run without them. That's the truth in the slogan. But the gratitude and the fear are not optional in the Christian life. Yet these are what most people call feelings. That is the peril of the slogan. It seems to make optional what the Bible makes essential.

Minimizing the importance of transformed feelings makes Christian conversion less supernatural and less radical. It is humanly manageable to make decisions of the will for Christ. No supernatural power is required to pray prayers, sign cards, walk aisles, or even stop sleeping around. Those are good. They just don't prove that anything spiritual has happened. Christian conversion, on the other hand, is a supernatural, radical thing. The heart is changed. And the evidence of it is not just new decisions, but new affections, new feelings.

Negatively, the apostle Paul says that those who go on in the same, old way of "hostility," "jealousy," "rage," and "envy" "will not inherit the kingdom of God" (see Galatians 5:20-21). These are all feelings. They must change. The train won't get to heaven unless they do. Positively, Christians are commanded to have God-honoring feelings. We are commanded to feel joy (Philippians 4:4), hope (Psalm 42:5), fear (Luke 12:5), peace (Colossians 3:15), zeal (Romans 12:11), grief (Romans 12:15), desire (1 Peter 2:2), tenderheartedness (Ephesians 4:32), and brokenness and contrition (James 4:9).

Moreover, faith itself has in it something that most people would call feeling. Saving faith means "receiving Christ": "To all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12). But receive as what? We usually say, "as Lord and Savior." That's right. But something more needs to be said. Saving faith also receives Christ as our Treasure. A non-treasured Christ is a nonsaving Christ. Faith has in it this element of valuing, embracing, prizing, relishing Christ. It is like a man who finds a treasure hidden in a field and "from joy" sells all his treasures to have that field (Matthew 13:44).

Therefore, let us affirm the slogan when it means that physical sensations are not essential. But let us also make clear that the locomotive of fact is not headed for heaven if it is not followed by a faith that treasures Christ and if it is not pulling a caboose-load of new, though imperfect, affections.

Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist.

What do you have an appetite for?

Frenchman Michel Lotito has an iron gut.

For some reason Lotito likes to eat metal. In the past twenty-five years, says writer Rosie Mestel, Lotito has eaten eleven bicycles, seven shopping carts, a metal coffin, a cash register, a washing machine, a television, and 660 feet of fine chain.

Lotito says it wasn't easy eating his first bicycle: "I started with the metal and moved on to the tires," he recalls. "It was really difficult to stay that extra day to finish off the rubber. Metal's tasteless, but rubber is horrible." Now Lotito swallows pieces of tire and frame together.

But none of that can compare with his biggest meal: a Cessna. That's right, Lotito has eaten an entire light airplane, 2,500 pounds of aluminum, steel, vinyl, Plexiglas, and rubber.

With a meal like that he cuts the metal into pieces about the size of his fingernail and consumes about two pounds a day.

Most people would agree that Michel Lotito has an unhealthy appetite.

When we first come to Christ, we have appetites just as unhealthy. New believers need to change their appetites from what is not food at all to what is true food for the soul.

750 Engaging Illustrations.

All that I need

In The Cure for a Troubled Heart author and pastor Ron Mehl writes:293 I heard once about a dear, saintly old woman who was gradually losing her memory. Details began to blur.... Throughout her life, however, this woman had cherished and depended on the Word of God, committing to memory many verses from her worn King James Bible.

Her favorite verse had always been 2 Timothy 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."

She was finally confined to bed in a nursing home, and her family knew she would never leave alive. As they visited with her, she would still quote verses of Scripture on occasion—especially 2 Timothy 1:12. But with the passing of time, even parts of this well-loved verse began to slip away.

"I know whom I have believed," she would say. "He is able to keep... what I have committed... to him."

Her voice grew weaker. And the verse became even shorter. "What I have committed... to him."

As she was dying, her voice became so faint family members had to bend over to listen to the few whispered words on her lips. And at the end, there was only one word of her life verse left.

"Him."

She whispered it again and again as she stood on the threshold of heaven. "Him... Him... Him."

It was all that was left. It was all that was needed.

All that I need

In The Cure for a Troubled Heart author and pastor Ron Mehl writes:293 I heard once about a dear, saintly old woman who was gradually losing her memory. Details began to blur.... Throughout her life, however, this woman had cherished and depended on the Word of God, committing to memory many verses from her worn King James Bible.

Her favorite verse had always been 2 Timothy 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."

She was finally confined to bed in a nursing home, and her family knew she would never leave alive. As they visited with her, she would still quote verses of Scripture on occasion—especially 2 Timothy 1:12. But with the passing of time, even parts of this well-loved verse began to slip away.

"I know whom I have believed," she would say. "He is able to keep... what I have committed... to him."

Her voice grew weaker. And the verse became even shorter. "What I have committed... to him."

As she was dying, her voice became so faint family members had to bend over to listen to the few whispered words on her lips. And at the end, there was only one word of her life verse left.

"Him."

She whispered it again and again as she stood on the threshold of heaven. "Him... Him... Him."

It was all that was left. It was all that was needed.

The Power of the Word

A great testimony to the power of the Word to beget and sustain faith is found in the story of the conversion and execution of Tokichi Ichii—a man who was hanged for murder in Tokyo in 1918. He had been sent to prison more than twenty times and was known for being as cruel as a tiger. On one occasion, after attacking a prison official, he was gagged and bound, and his body was suspended in such a way that his toes barely reached the ground. But he stubbornly refused to say he was sorry for what he had done.

Just before being sentenced to death, Tokichi was sent a New Testament by two Christian missionaries, Miss West and Miss McDonald. After a visit from Miss West, he began to read the story of Jesus' trial and execution. His attention was riveted by the sentence "Jesus said, 'Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" This sentence transformed his life.

I stopped: I was stabbed to the heart, as if by a five-inch nail. What did the verse reveal to me? Shall I call it the love of the heart of Christ? Shall I call it His compassion? I do not know what to call it. I only know that with an unspeakably grateful heart I believed.

Tokichi was sentenced to death and accepted it as "the fair, impartial judgment of God." Now the Word that had brought him to faith also sustained his faith in an amazing way. Near the end, Miss West directed him to the words of 2 Corinthians 6:8-10 concerning the suffering of the righteous. The words moved him very deeply, and he wrote:

"As sorrowing, yet always rejoicing." People will say that I must have a very sorrowful heart because I am daily awaiting the execution of the death sentence. This is not the case. I feel neither sorrow nor distress nor any pain. Locked up in a prison cell six feet by nine in size I am infinitely happier than I was in the days of my sinning when I did not know God. Day and night...I am talking with Jesus Christ.

"As poor, yet making many rich." This certainly does not apply to the evil life I led before I repented. But perhaps in the future, someone in the world may hear that the most desperate villain that ever lived repented of his sins and was saved by the power of Christ, and so may come to repent also. Then it may be that though I am poor myself, I shall be able to make many rich.

The Word sustained him to the end, and on the scaffold, with great humility and earnestness, he uttered his last words, "My soul, purified, today returns to the City of God."

Faith is born and sustained by the Word of God, and out of faith grows the flower of joy.

Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist.

You cannot please God if you do not come to him for reward

Every Sunday at 11 A.M., Hebrews 11:6 enters combat with popular conceptions of selfless virtue. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." You cannot please God if you do not come to Him for reward! Therefore, worship that pleases God is the hedonistic pursuit of God. He is our exceedingly great reward! In His presence is fullness of joy, and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore. Being satisfied with all God is for us in Jesus is the essence of the authentic experience of worship. Worship is the feast of Christian Hedonism.The Dangerous Duty of Delight. John Piper.

John Ortberg's Embarassing moment.

The church where I work videotapes pretty much all of our services, so I have hundreds of messages on tape. Only one of them gets shown repeatedly.

It’s a clip from the beginning of one of our services. A high school worship dance team had just brought the house down to get things started, and I was supposed to transition into some high-energy worship by reading Psalm 150. This was a last-second decision, so I had to read it cold, but with great passion: “Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary! Praise him in his mighty firmament!” The psalm consists of one command after another to praise, working its way through each instrument of the orchestra. My voice is building in a steady crescendo; by the end of the psalm I practically shout the final line, only mispronouncing one word slightly: “Let everything that has breasts, praise the Lord.”

A moment of silence. The same thought passes through 4,000 brains—did he just say what I think he did? In church? Is this some exciting new translation I can get at the bookstore?

Then everybody in the place just lost it. They laughed so hard for so long I couldn’t say a thing. I finally just walked off the stage, and we went on with the next part of the service.

I want it fast

Dominos became the number one seller of pizzas in America because they guaranteed they would deliver a pizza to your house in 30 minutes or less. And we loved that. The CEO of Dominos said, "We don't sell pizzas, we sell delivery." And if you've ever had a Dominos pizza…

The L.A. Times had an interview a while ago with a Dominos Pizza driver. This was a kid that drives Dominos pizzas to people's homes. And he says when he puts the Dominos sign on his car and drives, other drivers pull over to the side of the road to let him go past, like we used to do for ambulances. We don't do that for ambulances anymore, we do it for the Dominos guy. Why? Because he's in a hurry.

Now, you'll think I'm making this up, but I'm not. This is in USA Today. Taking a cue from Dominos Pizza, a Detroit hospital guarantees that emergency room patients will be seen within twenty minutes or treatment is free. So far, Doctor's Hospital has delivered. Since the offer was first made June 24th on cable TV, business has been up 30%. The mortality rate is up 120%. People are dying, but they're dying fast, and that's all we're really after.

We'll pay for anything that we think might free up some time. We're just surrounded by fax machines, Fed Ex's, ATM's, cell phones, beepers, pagers, Palm Pilots, modems, email, and we think all that stuff is going to save us, but it ends up enslaving us.

Newsweek had an article about a guy that went on vacation. He was in California on vacation for two weeks, came home to over 1,000 e- mail messages that he had to answer. We're just enslaved by this stuff.

Richard Swenson says, "You want to give somebody a great gift this Christmas?" He says, "The gift we mostly need would be a phoneless cord." You have to think about that one for a minute. In the late sixties–1967–expert testimony was given to the United States Senate that said because of all this labor-saving technology, people were going to have more time tha n they knew what to do with. It predicted that within 20 or 30 years, the average American would work something like only 30 hours a week, or something like only 30 weeks a year.

http://www.vbmb.org/uploads/stewardship/Sermons/Back%20in%20the%20Box.pdf

I paid for it!

In The Christian Reader, Paul Francisco writes:

When I was a child, our church celebrated the Lord's Supper every first Sunday of the month. At that service, the offering plates were passed twice: before the sermon for regular offerings, and just prior to Communion for benevolences. My family always gave to both, but they passed a dime to me to put in only the regular offering.

One Communion Sunday when I was nine, my mother, for the first time, gave me a dime for the benevolent offering also. A little later when the folks in our pew rose to go to the Communion rail, I got up also. "You can't take Communion yet," Mother told me.

"Why not?" I said. "I paid for it!"

This child's humorous story shows a very adult attitude. We may think we can earn God's salvation.

750 Engaging Illustrations.

Learning from children

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. Kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money, and I look away. Kids see someone smiling at them, and they smile back.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm, so I sit self-consciously and listen. Kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words, and if they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk. Kids close their eyes, spread their arms, and fly with it, until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray, I say "thee" and "thou" and "grant me this" and "give me that." Kids say, "Hi, God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to heaven yet. I would miss Mommy and Daddy."

When I see a mud puddle, I step around it. I see muddy shoes and clothes and dirty carpets. Kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.

I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children!

Citation: From the Internet; submitted by Debi Zahn; Sandwich, Illinois
Illustrations for Every Topic and Occasion - . – More Perfect Illustrations: For Every Topic and Occasion.

Thief's rules

In Words We Live By, Brian Burrell tells of an armed robber named Dennis Lee Curtis who was arrested in 1992 in Rapid City, South Dakota. Curtis apparently had scruples about his thievery. In his wallet the police found a sheet of paper on which was written the following code, sort of a robber's rules:
I will not kill anyone unless I have to.
I will take cash and food stamps—no checks.
I will rob only at night.
I will not wear a mask.
I will not rob mini-marts or 7-Eleven stores.
If I get chased by cops on foot, I will get away. If chased by a vehicle, I will not put the lives of innocent civilians on the line.
I will rob only seven months out of the year.
I will enjoy robbing from the rich to give to the poor.
This thief had a sense of morality, but it was flawed. When he stood before the court, he was not judged by the standards he had set for himself but by the higher law of the state.
Likewise when we stand before God, we will not be judged by the code of morality we have written for ourselves but by God's perfect law. – 750 Engaging Illustrations.