Becoming a radiant Christian

My friend Dorothy spent several weeks in prayer and special training to lead a Bible discussion group. Finally the big day arrived for the first class. Getting her family of six out the door was more hectic than usual that morning. Breakfast didn't turn out right, and several arguments were going on among the children. Dorothy, quickly getting frazzled, tried to regain her composure. In the midst of the bedlam, her husband entered the kitchen and surveyed the uproar.

"Kids! Settle down!" he admonished. "Your mom has only forty-five minutes until she has to become a radiant Christian."

Roseann Hill

1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories: For Preachers, Teachers, and Writers.

If it is the Lord's Will

A pastor was outside sitting on his porch one day and thinking about the unpredictability of life. At any moment, one's life could change, and so one should live every moment looking to the Lord. As the preacher sat there, his neighbor passed by leading his horse. The preacher called out to him, "What are you doing with your horse?" The man answered, "I'm going to town to sell it." The pastor said, "You ought to say that you are going to sell it if it is the Lord's will." The man replied, "What does this have to do with the Lord's will? This is a good, healthy horse and it will be sold before you know it." The pastor said, "Have you forgotten that God is watching you? You need to put everything in God's hands in order for it to work out. You should say, 'If it be the Lord's will.'" The neighbor then said, "This is my horse and I have raised it specifically to be sold. I've even gotten a buyer for it. The Lord won't change anything."

Later that day, the neighbor passed by the preacher's house again. He was covered in dirt, his clothes were ripped to shreds, and he was bruised and sore from one end to the other. The astonished pastor asked, "What in the world happened to you?" The man replied, "Well, I talked to you for so long that I was running late for my appointment with my buyer. To get there on time, I took a short cut through a corn field owned by a cranky old buzzard. Well, that farmer saw me trampling through his field and he started shooting at my horse. The horse panicked and fell over on top of me, then it kicked me in the eye. Trying to get out from under the horse, I tore my clothes to pieces. I ran from that old man and his gun and ran smack dab into a barbed wire fence. That's what happened to me!" The pastor asked, "Well, where are you going now?" The man answered, "Well, I'm going home now... if it be the Lord's will."

Mattoon's Treasures - Mattoon's Treasures – Treasures from Exodus, Volume 1.

Caring enough to confront

In his column for REV Magazine, Charles Lowery writes about a friend that loved him enough to tell him the truth. After complaining about some lower back pain, his friend said to him, “your back isn’t your problem, Charles, it’s your stomach. Your stomach is so big it’s pulling on your back.” Charles resisted the temptation to be offended and realized his friend was right. He lost the weight and his “back” problem went away. Charles commented on the incident by saying, “A friend will see through you…and also see you through.”

—REV, May/June 2003

Proverbs 27:6 NLT “Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Fresh Illustrations.

Discouraged?

The devil once had a yard sale. He put out all of his tools with a price sticker on each one. There were a lot of them, including hatred, envy, jealousy, doubt, lying, pride, and lust. Apart from the rest of the tools was an old, harmless-looking tool with a high price.

One of the devil's customers asked about this high-priced tool. The devil said, "Why, that's discouragement."

The customer asked, "Why do you have such a high price on it?"

The devil responded, "That's one of my most useful tools. When other tools won't work, I can pry open and get into a person's heart with discouragement. Once I get inside, I can do whatever I want. It's easy to get into a person's heart with this tool because few people know it belongs to me."

It's said that the devil's price on discouragement is so high that he's never been able to sell it. As a result, he continues to use it.

And he often uses it with his oldest tool: "Did God really say that?" "Are you sure he's called to do that?" "Wow, you sure have made a mess of things, haven't you?" These are very painful times and must be addressed by simply being honest with God. Ask the Lord why he is allowing these periods of stress and pain. Ask him for wisdom to walk through them graciously and humbly. But never allow any root of anger and bitterness to grow in your heart, because God is not finished with you yet.

Holman Old Testament Commentary - Holman Old Testament Commentary – Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers.

Excuses

Zig Ziglar writes:
My brother, the late Judge Ziglar, loved to tell the story of the fellow who went next door to borrow his neighbor’s lawn mower. The neighbor explained that he could not let him use the mower because all the flights had been canceled from New York to Los Angeles.
The borrower asked him what canceled flights from New York to Los Angeles had to do with borrowing his lawn mower. “It doesn’t have anything to do with it, but if I don’t want to let you use my lawn mower, one excuse is as good as another.” – Citation: Zig Ziglar, Something Else to Smile About (Thomas Nelson, 1999); submitted by Bonne Steffen; Wheaton, Illinois
Illustrations for Every Topic and Occasion - – Perfect Illustrations: For Every Topic and Occasion.

What is adultery

A third-grade Sunday school teacher was uneasy about the lesson "Thou shalt not commit adultery." By way of introduction she asked, "Would someone please explain what adultery means?"

A young sage answered matter-of-factly, "Adultery is when a kid lies about his age."

Jonathan R. Mutchler

1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories: For Preachers, Teachers, and Writers.

How to break bad news

In Be a People Person, John Maxwell tells this story:

Mr. Myrick had to go to Chicago on business and persuaded his brother to take care of his cat during his absence. Though he hated cats, the brother agreed. Upon his return, Myrick called from the airport to check on the cat.

"Your cat died," the brother reported, then hung up.

Myrick was inconsolable. His grief was magnified by his brother's insensitivity, so he called again to express his pain. "There was no need for you to be so blunt," he said.

"What was I supposed to say?" asked the perplexed brother.

"You could have broken the news gradually," explained Myrick. "You could have said, 'The cat was playing on the roof.' Then, later in the conversation, you could have said, 'He fell off.' Then you could have said, 'He broke his leg.' Then when I came to pick him up, you could have said, 'I'm so sorry. Your cat passed away during the night.' You've got to learn to be more tactful.... By the way, how's Mom?"

After a long pause, the brother replied, "She's playing on the roof."

Mike Neifert

1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories: For Preachers, Teachers, and Writers.

What is rage?

Two friends, Bill and Tom, were drinking at an all-night cafe. They got into a discussion about the difference between irritation, anger, and rage. At about 1 A.M., Bill said, "Look, Tom, I'll show you an example of irritation."

He went to the pay telephone, put in a coin, and dialed a number at random. The phone rang and rang and rang. Finally when a sleepy voice at the other end answered, Bill said, "I'd like to speak to Jones."

"There's no one here named Jones," the disgruntled man replied as he hung up.

"That," Bill said to Tom, "is a man who is irritated."

An hour later, at 2 A.M., Bill said, "Now I'll show you a man who is angry." He went to the phone, dialed the same number, and let it ring. Eventually, the same sleepy voice answered the phone.

Bill asked, "May I please speak with Jones?"

"There's no one here named Jones," came the angry reply, this time louder. The man slammed down the receiver.

An hour later, at 3 A.M., Bill said, "Now I'll show you an example of rage." He went to the phone, dialed the same number, and let it ring. When the sleepy man finally answered, Bill said, "Hi, this is Jones. Have there been any calls for me?"

Citation: David Holdaway, Scotland

Illustrations for Every Topic and Occasion - – Perfect Illustrations: For Every Topic and Occasion.

Who are you holding up?

When Dawson Trotman passed away he probably left a legacy of discipleship on this earth that will never be matched except perhaps in the life of Jesus Christ Himself. I've become a real student of Dawson Trotman and believe wholeheartedly in the methods of discipleship that he taught and emulated throughout his days. He died in Schroon Lake, New York. He died of all things in the midst of an area that he was expert in—he drowned. He was an expert swimmer. The last few moments he had in the water he lifted one girl out of the water. He went down and got the other girl and lifted her out of the water and then submerged and was not found again until the dragnet found him a few hours later. A man named Larsen was on that boat when Trotman died, and he said, "The entire United States Navy couldn't have saved Trotman that day—it was God's time." Time ran an article on Trotman's life the next week, and they put a caption beneath his name, and it read, "Always Holding Somebody Up." In one sentence, that was Trotman's life—investment in people, in honesty and humility, holding them up. Are you doing that? Who are you holding up? Charles Swindoll / Illustrations Unlimited.

Religious affliction

My daughter Barb and I were hired to conduct an in-depth survey After a day of reading questions and writing responses, we were getting weary, but we decided to finish the last two people before calling it a day.

I dropped Barb at her final location and went to mine. I finished early, so I walked in on Barb just as she was finishing the personal data section, which included the question, "Religious Affiliation?"

I knew a hard day's work had finally gotten to Barb when I heard her ask, "And finally, what is your religious affliction?"

Gusty Chartrand

1001 Quotes, Illustrations, and Humorous Stories: For Preachers, Teachers, and Writers.

What would you give up?

In an article about former Today show host Bryant Gumbel, Cheryl Lavin writes in the Chicago Tribune Magazine:

Gumbel loves golf. Loves golf. Belongs to four clubs. Plays 200 times a year, sometimes 54 holes a weekend. Owns 2,000 golf clubs. "It's the one thing that you do that is only about you. It's the thing I enjoy the most," he says.

Gumbel and Al Roker were discussing a poll in Golf magazine that asked, "Which would you rather give up, golf or sex?"

Without hesitating, Gumbel said sex. Roker was surprised. Gumbel said, "Maybe you've never had a great round of golf."

"Which would you rather give up?" is not always a hypothetical question. Sometimes God asks us to give up something enjoyable for something that is far, far more enjoyable. The more we see the true joys of the things of God, the easier any sacrifice becomes.

750 Engaging Illustrations.

Honestly now

A lot can be learned by the questions people ask. Two physics students wanted to go to a party in a town fifty miles away, even though they had a major physics test first thing the following day. The only way they could go to the party was to spend the night there and return late the next day, too late for the test.

"That's okay," one student said. "We'll tell the professor we had a flat tire. He can't punish us for having a flat tire."

The other agreed, so they went to the party and had a wonderful time. When they returned, they told the professor they had had a flat tire and they asked if they could take a makeup test. The professor agreed.

The next day, as they took their seats for the makeup test, the professor handed out a sheet of paper. "There are only two questions on this test, one on each side of the paper," he said. "Question one is worth 10 percent, and question two is worth 90 percent. Take your time, answer the questions fully and completely. This final will make up 50 percent of your grade."

Both students read the first question: "Who came up with the theory of relativity?" Both students smiled. "Albert Einstein," they wrote. What an easy test, they thought as they flipped to the back side of the sheet.

Question 2 was, "Which tire was flat?"

In Mark chapter 12 opposition to Jesus grows to monumental proportions. This chapter contains a few more questions put to Jesus by the religious establishment of the day in an attempt to trap him. Failing this, they abandon this course of action. They ask him no more questions until his trial.

Holman New Testament Commentary - Holman New Testament Commentary – Mark.